The Best Response to Haters

Last week I posted a story on LinkedIn about my grandmother Elsie losing her voice and received an abusive comment from a male follower, Mike.

His comment wasn’t one of curiosity or of a thoughtful questioning nature, which I may have been willing to reply to. It was a judgmental and misogynistic tirade from a man who knows nothing about the journey I’ve been on to research Elsie’s story.

It was just a little taste of what many women who dare to raise their voice and tell their stories often experience.

If it was his intention to upset and anger me, it worked.

Seeking the wise counsel of my partner and sisters, we discussed how best to respond.

Do I leave the comment there and not reply knowing everyone will see it?

Do I reply to his comment to enlighten him and risk the tireless dialogue that might arise from it?

Or do I delete his comment and de-follow him?

There’s a saying that silence is an act of complicity, so a big part of me wanted to challenge him outright and not let him off the hook.

On the other hand, I’ve a novel to write and it won’t get done wasting my precious time on a troll desperate to preserve the patriarchal status quo.

Women are drop-dead tired of male trolls, the haters and the oppressors. Sadly, there will always be men like Mike in the world. We can enter into battle with them, or we can ignore them and change the status quo with our words instead.

In the end, after an hour, I chose not to give him any oxygen, and I deleted the comment and de-followed him.

The best response was no response, and to get on with writing that novel that won’t write itself so I can mail a copy to Mike.

Be bold. Be brave. Just write.

With love


Find your Voice. Free the Writer Within.

Write in a Safe & Brave Space with Other Women.

G’day! I’m Carolyn Tate and I’m on a mission to write the stories that move us to remake our world — for women and Mother Earth. Alongside writing, I teach and mentor women to unleash their voice and write stories of purpose, justice, and equality.

Are you a woman who yearns to share your story with the world but don’t quite know where to start? Do you often suppress your inner voice, waiting for that perfect day to write? Or perhaps you’ve begun writing and are feeling stuck?

Here’s how I help:

Brave Women Write Book: Order Here

Brave Women Write Monthly Dinners | Clifton Hill, Melbourne: Book Here

Brave Women Writers’ Circle | 8-week Zoom Program: Book Here

Private Mentoring Over 90 Days for Emerging Authors: Read More

Brave Women Write Together & Sacred Fire Circle | Red Hill, Mornington Peninsula, Victoria: Book Here